The Origin of Metallica

One of my favourite sports columnists is EPSN’s Bill Simmons, aka The Sports Guy. If you’ve got any interest in US sports (especially the NBA), pop culture (especially reality TV) or wrestling, then you should be reading (or listening to) Bill Simmons.

One of Bill’s gimmicks over the years has been to preview or review a sports event/season by using song lyrics or movie quotes to create a theme and point of comparison.

In my experience ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’, so I’m stealing Bill’s gimmick and using it to review some of Queensland’s destruction of NSW in the series deciding State of Origin match last night.

There’s no question that QLD has just got more firepower than NSW, which has been the case for the past six years. Man for man they’ve been stronger than the Blues in almost every category, most importantly in the halves, where the Thurston and Lockyer combination has dominated whoever stands before them.

Throughout this period of domination I’ve marveled at how effectively and efficiently JT and Locky have pulled the strings, leading the Cane Toads to crushing win after crushing win. Like puppet masters, totally in control of the storyline and the characters on stage.

So without further ado, here is my SOO III review inspired by Metallica:

Master of Puppets are pulling your strings,

Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams

(Master of Puppets from Master of Puppets (1986)

This is for JT and Lockyer, the most successfully halves combination in Origin history. Most New South Welshman would be excited by the thought of Locky retiring, until we realize that Cooper Cronk is his replacement, leaving the Maroons with the strongest halves combination again!!!

The Horsemen are drawing nearer

On leather steeds they ride

They come to take your life

(The Four Horsemen from Kill ‘Em All, 1983)

The monster QLD pack led by Petero Civoniceva and Matt Scott. Despite their Game 2 stumble, they showed that you need big boppers up front to lay the foundation for victory. It’s been the constant to success in league since the dawn of time. Sure the tactic of a mobile pack of second rowers parading as props worked for one game. But it’s a tough act to replicate. A light heavyweight might be able to win a few rounds against a heavyweight…but sooner a later a heavy blow will be struck and the little guys knees will buckle

Hear the cry of war, louder than before

With his sword in hand, to control the land

Crushing metal strikes, on this frightening night

Fall onto your knees,

And bow to the Phantom Lord

(Phantom Lord from Kill ‘Em All, 1983)

Darren Lockyer. For so long south of the border we’ve paid homage to only one Cane Toad, ‘The King’ Wally Lewis, for his performances in the toughest arena in league. If Wally is the King, Lockyer is the Phantom Lord. His ability to maintain such a high standard of play over such a long career is unsurpassed at Origin level

Take a look to the sky just before you die

It’s the last time you will

(For Whom the Bell Tolls from Ride the Lightning, 1984)

To all the NSW Blues, who stepped onto the sacred turf of Lang Park and were overwhelmed when presented with the chance to put an end to the five year rot. From the outset they looked overmatch and outclassed. To their credit they kept plugging away and kept some level of interest in the game. In reality though the game was up after 20 minutes

Steamroller action crushing all,
Victim is your name and you shall fall

(Damage Inc. from Master of Puppets, 1986)

Sam Thaiday, who steps up for State of Origin like no other player in recent time. For the Broncos he’s good. In a Maroon jersey he’s amazing. A cannonball in attack and a brick wall in defense

We’re off to find,

The hero of the day

(Hero of the Day, from Load, 1996)

To Ricky Stuart, who certainly restored some credibility following the past couple of series disappointments, but who is still searching for the player to lead NSW to the Promised Land

Braiding your soul with a hard luck story

Show your scars

Spilling you blood in a hot sun’s foray

Show your scars

Breaking your life broken, beat and scarred

But we die hard

(Broken, Beat and Scarred from Death Magnetic, 2008)

This could only be Paul Gallen. No player increased his profile and garnered more respect this series than Paul Gallen. Gallen did everything humanly possible to will NSW to victory, but just didn’t have the horses to run with him. A couple more of his type in the forward pack, especially the front row, and NSW might have a sniff at victory

Invisible kid
Never see what he did
got stuck where he hid
Fallen through the grid

(Invisible Kid from St. Anger, 2003)

The invisible kid is Jarryd Hayne. Hayne (in my one eyed blue and gold biased opinion) is the most naturally gifted NSW player. There are stories about an attitude problem, which may be the case, but in terms of physical ability he really does stand head and shoulders above everyone else. Until you stick him out on the wing, or bring him one step in to centre. Hayne needs the ball to have an impact. Selectors take note

He’s got his cake…and he can eat it too

Not only did Novak Djokovic take the number one ranking away from both Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal for the first time in eight year (I think), he also crowned his moment of glory by lifting tennis’ Holy Grail – the Wimbledon Gentlemen’s Single-Handed championship trophy.

In a performance that put an exclamation point on what is undoubtedly one of the greatest runs in the history of tennis (not just the open era), Nole not only ended the Roger and Rafa dominance in the rankings, but also of the grass courts, with a comprehensive three sets to one (6-4, 6-1, 1-6, 6-3) victory over the man who was previously undefeated on the London lawns in 20 previous matches.

Consider this:

1. Novak’s record since the amazing Davis Cup triumph last year is 50 wins to 1 loss
2. In 2011 he has won two Grand Slams (Australian Open and Wimbledon) along with tournaments in Dubai, Indian Wells, Miami, Rome, Madrid and Belgrade
3. The only tournament which he didn’t win this year was the French Open, where he exited at the semi final stage after losing a nail biter to Federer
4. Nole has won tournaments on all surfaces – hard court, clay and grass – this year
5. He has amazingly beaten Rafa in five finals this year
6. Not only has he beaten Rafa in 2011 finals, but he has also defeated Roger and Andy Murray – the other members of the top four – in the same span
7. Prior to his triumph last night, he had never won a grass court tournament!

In the first set both players stood toe to toe, like heavyweight prize fighters trading heavy blows from the back of the court. Unlike any other player on the circuit though, Nole not only matched Rafa’s heavy hitting, but dominated the rallies to the point that Rafa cracked first and Nole took a tight first set 6-4.

Djokovic’s return of serve, touch at the net and court movement rattled Nadal, so much so that Nole proceeded to dominate Rafa in the second set like no other player has to date. It was simply a lesson in tennis artistry, with Rafa’s usually faultless game totally decimated.

However Rafa Nadal is not Andy Murray. A mentally fragile Murray would have packed it in and the match would have been over in straight sets. The competitor that is Nadal would never allow such a whitewash, and he came out all guns blazing in the third set, breaking Nole early and racing away to take it out 6-1. Nole was very tight, and question marks about his history of failures at Grand Slam level started to arise. He’d beaten Nadal a number of times this year, but never in a Slam. Never over five sets.

The pendulum was slowly swinging back to the Spaniard, who was pacing the baseline like a bull ready to charge the matador.

However this is the new and improved Nole. Nole 2.0 – the upgraded version that simply seems to have overcome all of his weaknesses. In the fourth set he steadied himself and took the game back away from Nadal with an early break. Although Rafa broke back to keep the match alive and the crowd begging for a deciding fifth set, destiny was always in the Serb’s grasp. And he snatched at it with glee.

Falling to his knees after playing the final winning shot, Nole took a couple of blades of grass from the sacred lawn and popped them into his mouth. The true taste of success.

Congratulations Nole on a wonderful run…you’ve etched your name in the record books alongside the greats of past and present.

Now is the time to kick on and create a dynasty.

Random Thumbs

So much has gone on in the world of sports in the last couple of months, and I just haven’t had the time to fully devote myself to each topic on its own merits. So here’s a cut price version to rubbish and recognize some of the happenings in recent times:

THUMBS

UP: Dirk Nowitzki: Absolute pantheon performance by the big man to lead the Dallas Mavericks to the Holy Grail and redemption after the 2006 debacle. Snapshot of his fourth quarter heroics in the NBA Finals

Game 1: 92-84 Loss. Dirk scores 10 fourth quarter points (27 points, 8 boards for the game)

Game 2: 95-93 Win: Dirk scores the final nine points for the Mavs including a game tying three and go ahead layup as the Mavs storm back from 15 down…with a torn tendon in his left hand (24 points, 11 boards for the game)

Game 3: 88-86 Loss. Dirks scores 15 fourth quarter points and ties the game coming back from seven points down. Misses a tough look with seconds remaining to tie the game and send it to overtime (34 points, 11 boards for the game)

Game 4: 86 – 93 Win. Dirk scores 10 fourth quarter points as the Mavs come back from 7 points down including a layup with 14 seconds left to put the game out of reach. This with a temperature peaking at 39 degrees during the game (21 points, 11 boards for the game)

Game 5: 112 – 103 Win. Dirk scores 29 points for the game, 8 in the fourth quarter, as the Mavs vaunted offence finally kicks into gear and takes the game away from the Heat (29 points, 6 boards for the game)

Game 6: 105 – 95 Win. After struggling through the first three quarters, shooting a woeful 1 for 11, Dirk shakes off the nerves and puts up another double digit fourth quarter (10 points) and rightly claims the NBA Championship and Finals MVP trophies (21 points, 11 boards for the game)

An absolutely amazing run of clutch performances that will stand the test of time. Congratulations Dirk, J-Kidd, Mark Cuban, Jet, Peja (even though he was bench for Brian Cardinal in the finals!!!) and the rest of the Mavs

DOWN: LeBron James. In an anti-Dirk performance, LeBron posted some decent numbers but had zero impact when it really mattered. I’m not going to break down his performance in detail. That’s been done by all the experts. I’m just going to ask you to watch Alec Baldwin talking about ‘closers’ in one of the greatest motivational speeches ever made: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-AXTx4PcKI. LeBron…coffee is for closers!!!

UP: Bernard Tomic. I'll give credit where credit is due. He burst onto the Australian tennis scene as a promising junior a few years ago, but since then his own hype has talked louder than his on court performances. Lleyton Hewitt was similarly annoying at the same age, but with a very large caveat. Hewitt was WINNING tournaments and was on his way to becoming a world number one and two time Grand Slam champion. Tomic has won squat and is ranked in the hundreds. However, he’s in the Wimbledon quarters. He’s taken down some big names in Soderling and Davydenko. He’ll move into the top 100 post tournament. Well done

DOWN: Nole Djokovic. I’ve spent a lot of time praising the amazing run of Nole this year. But when I read that he had a dummy spit because they wouldn’t let his poodle into the country I peaked. If you haven’t read the story… http://m.smh.com.au/sport/tennis/novak-djokovic-in-a-spin-over-poodle-ban-20110627-1gm6m.html. I’m imagining Rafa Nadal laughing his arse off reading that article while he does line sprints with his pet Tiger!!! Focus Nole

DOWN: Women’s tennis. I’ve said too much on this subject already and can only add that the insipid performances of Li Na, the Williams sisters and most of all ‘world number one’ Caroline Wozniaki show the malaise that exists in the sport

UP: Ricky Stuart. I didn’t think Ricky picked the right team for State of Origin 2, and am happy to eat humble pie. I honestly thought the lack of props was going to hurt us big time, and I didn’t believe that Paul Gallen could put in that sort of performance. How wrong I was. Congrats Ricky. Even if the Cane Toads get up next week, and it’s more than likely considering they’ll be primed for Lockyer’s Origin farewell and will have the Greg Inglis & Justin Hodges combination back in the centers, you’ve done a great job in year one

DOWN: NRL. As you know at the start of the year I bought two memberships for the less than mighty Parra Eels. One adult for yours truly and one Sparky Junior Eels membership for the boy. The young lad has been primed to go to a game all season but we haven't been able to go. Because from round 1 through to round 22 Parra has only played one home game on a Sunday arvo....and unfortunately we were out of town that one Sunday. Every home game is a night game. It's awfully difficult to take really young kids to night games in the middle of winter. Whatever happened to taking the family out to the footy on a Sunday afternoon??? If I were an AFL fan I could have scanned the draw in advance, seen that we didn't have any games to go to and would have put the season memberships on hold. That's why the AFL does things the right way.

DOWN: NRL footy fans. I’m a self confessed talkback radio junkie. I get in my Toyota Yaris, flick the wireless to the AM band and tune in to my favourite programs. Mornings it’s the Big Sports Breakfast on Sky Sports Radio. On the drive home it’s Talkin’ Sport on 2SM. Sad I know. What’s really starting to bug me is the number of whinging calls that come in every day about how this ref missed a forward pass in the 23^rd minute, or that ref missed a knock on in the 29^th minute, or the ref’s socks weren’t pulled up the right way. Get over it guys. There isn’t a single set of tennis innings of cricket, quarter of basketball, half of football etc. without some balls up by the officials. It’s part and parcel of sport. Human error occurs. In the vast majority of cases the better team/player wins. I know the refs are inconsistent. I know there are a sh#tload of mistakes every weekend. Let’s all just agree that they’re sh#te and move on. I urge all callers to consider talking about the coach’s tactics, player’s performances, leagues strategy and so forth. Just stop whinging about the refs

UP: Barcelona FC. A phenomenal performance to win yet another European Cup, and further evidence of the class gulf between English and continental football. As good as Man U has been this year…and need I remind all of my Scouse ‘friends’ we now have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 & 19 league titles…they were totally outplayed, outclassed and outthought by one of the best club teams in the history of the game. Watching Messi in full flight is an absolute delight

UP and DOWN: Sir Alex Ferguson. SAF has obviously recognized that the team needs an injection of youth and class to compete with the likes of Barca. Michael Carrick once again was shown to the limited. Paul Scholes andEdwin Van Der Sar are gone. Ryan Giggs can’t go on forever – and from what I understand his energies lie elsewhere. Berba looks like he’s on the outs. In response to the final drubbing the club has been very active and aggressive in pursuing new talent. Great stuff. But I have to question some of the buys. David De Gea as a new keeper is an inspired move. Ashley Young has a style of play that should fit right in. But Phil Jones? We don’t need another back-up defender. We need a puppet master. Someone to pull the strings in midfield. An Iniesta, Xavi or Schneider type who can control a games tempo. Come on SAF…stop overpaying for English talent and bring in some world class players

DOWN: Cricket Australia. The dumping of Simon Katich from the list of CA contracted players is a joke. Simon, despite his advanced age, has been the bedrock of Australia’s batting for the past couple of seasons. He has transformed his game and has become one of the toughest openers to displace. The fact that Australia doesn’t have a readymade replacement in good nick who can step right in with confidence makes the decision even more bewildering. The much hype review into Australian cricket post Ashes debacle has yet to shine any light on the ills within the sport…but the nonsense from the top down continues to dominate the way the sport is governed

UP: Red Bull Racing. Total domination of the F1 circuit this season. Great car, great driver, great team