Dazed and Confused

"Been dazed and confused for so long it's not true
Wanted a superstar, never bargained for you.
Lot's of people talking, few of them know
Soul of Man United, was created in midfield!"

This has been the sad song sung by my Manchester United brethren since the close of the transfer window. United fans worldwide, feeling exposed by the retirement of the deity that is Sir Alex of Ferguson, were crying out for that big money signing that would act as a statement of intent - confirming the Red Devils are still the big boys on the block. After all, Manchester City finally succumbed to Roberto Mancini's sage advice and retooled in the off-season. And Chelsea brought back 'The Special One.' It was vital that we responded in kind.

And we did...kinda...sorta.

Despite being linked with everyone from Cesc Fabregas to Kaka to Avala legend Tome Divljak, United closed their transfer activity by parting company with $27 million for the signature of Moyes' favourite Toffee Marouane Fellaini.

And the outcry that followed was immense...with more vitriol thrown at Moyes than chemical weapons in Syria. 

Now I'm not going to defend the shambolic nature with which we managed the transfer window. At times it seemed as if the good folk running the Labour party were providing strategic direction at Old Trafford HQ. From the very public courting of Fabregas, to the Spanish 'imposters', the initial ridiculously low bid for Fellaini and Leighton Baines to overpaying Everton with seconds to go before the window expired. It was a public embarrassment. Considering the club is under new management with Moyes and Woodward, hardly the stuff that instills confidence in a very demanding supporter base. 

However...the outcome on the playing field is perfect. 

Our greatest weakness over the past number of season has been midfield, something that's been on the agenda since the retirement of Rampaging Roy Keane. Seba Veron had all the skills, but couldn't quite adapt to the pace of the Premier League. Anderson has bitten off, quite literally, more than he can chew. Djembe Djembe would have been great if his on field performance wasn't as ridiculous as his name. Owen Hargreaves was made of porcelain, and Darren Fletcher shit himself, leaving Michael Carrick the uninspiring constant over the past few seasons. 

The arrival of Marouane Fellaini was exactly what I wanted. Fellaini is a proven Premier League and international performer - an all action presence who can mix it up physically, but who also has the capacity to play great technical football and score goals.

Since the transfer deadline expired all I keep hearing is 'he's not a United player'. I couldn't disagree more. He's exactly what we need. Not that I wouldn't have minded a Mesut Ozil or Bastian Schweinsteiger. But if it's about addressing a weakness in the team, Moyes has done it. 

Let's break this down.

GOALKEEPER

David de Gea might not be the best keeper in the EPL right now, but he's certainly in the conversation. Any flaws he might have can be negated by the fact he's only 22 and has tremendous upside. With wanting to sound like a real homer, I think in de Gea we have the future best keeper in the world.

DEFENDERS

The backline, when fit, is rock solid. Vidic and Ferdinand, ably supported by Jonny Evans, make up the best centre back troika in the league. Evra's return to form and Raphael's continued improvement make for a pretty deadly fullback pairing. They might enjoy going forward a little too much, but they still bring more to the table than they take off. And in Jones and Smalling we have two young guns who can fit in anywhere across the backline. The defense is deep, versatile and very talented.

STRIKERS

Up front there's RVP - the best striker in the Premiership. Rooney might be a fat, balding former granny shagger...but he's still capable of 20 goals a season. Welbeck has proven himself to be, at the very least, Emile Heskey 2.0 (I can't believe I convinced myself that this is a high compliment). And Chicharito is a great ace up the sleeve - the perfect super sub.

MIDFIELDERS

Michael Carrick continues to anchor the middle. I've been his biggest critic over the years, but will grudgingly concede he's a steady presence who makes few mistakes. He doesn't win many games, but he'll lose fewer. Fellaini can now partner with Carrick in front of the defense. This releases much of the tackling burden from Carrick's slender shoulders and allows him to concentrate on excelling as the boring steadying presence with his passing. Meanwhile Fellaini brings a physical authority and some much needed muscle that has been sorely lacking. On the wings we can choose from Valencia, Young, Nani, Zaha or Adnan Januzaj - who I've seen little of but has impressed me. Cleverly is decent but far from the finished article. And Giggs should be available to support the seconds in the League Cup, as well as supporting the players wives. All in all this is a pretty impressive and deep group.

THE MISSING LINK

The key to bringing this all together, and the reason we didn't need an additional big money splash it the transfer market, is Shinji Kagawa. It seems that Moyes is the only man in football who doesn't rate the Japanese international. Forget other game changing attacking midfielders...we've got one.

Just imagine a 4-3-3 formation with Carrick and Fellaini anchoring the midfield, Kagawa operating ahead and RVP, Rooney and Welbeck up front. Or a 4-5-1. Carrick and Fellaini once again at the base of a triangle with Kagawa. Two traditional wingers (Valencia and Zaha ideally) on the flanks bombing forward and crossing for RVP. This gives you the tactical flexibility of Rooney on the bench, with the capacity to change up any game.

When I think of all the options I'm excited enough to let Samuel L Jackson talk me into opening up a new Bet365 account with a lazy hundred on the Devils to repeat. We won last season by 11 points for goodness sake. And that was with half the team perpetually injured.

Unfortunately though David Moyes is in charge...and Kagawa has been handcuffed to the bench. I don't know if he lacks imagination, tactical nous or just plain balls, but his safety first approach that guided Everton to multiple sixth places won't win us the title. Heck, with Ozil at Highbury and Spurs reloaded it might not even get us Champions League qualification. 

The performance in Europe midweek was refreshing, and provided a blueprint for how good Manchester United can be this season. Now Moyes and his charges face their toughest test to date - the Manchester derby.

Come on you Reds!!!

Give it back

I just read that Lance Armstrong is returning the Bronze medal he 'won' at the Sydney 2000 Olympics. Does this mean disgraced former Eels coach Ricky Stuart has to give back the wooden spoons collected under his watch at Parra???

Losing my religion

I had my first experience with Catholic schoolboys on the weekend…and it was simply thrilling.

 

To be perfectly honest I was probably a little naïve going into the encounter, not really knowing what to expect. But after forty odd minutes of stimulation I was completely hooked. To say that it altered my persuasion forever is probably a little hyperbolic, but it certainly left an indelible imprint on my psyche.

 

To provide some context I’ll freely admit to experiencing extreme disillusion recently. I have put a lot of time, passion and faith in my existing relationship with little repaid. My loyalty has been severely tested, the damage inflicted almost irreparable.

 

And so it came to pass on a sunny Sydney Saturday afternoon that I made my way to the oval behind a prominent local Catholic school. I was accompanied by two very close friends, Mr. Pussy and Flex. Their presence and the ensuing camaraderie should have calmed my nerves and instilled some confidence. Rather it only served to heighten by fears and misgivings, adding yet another layer of confusion to a troubled soul.

 

What was I doing here? I asked myself this question over and over. Did I really belong? Would I enjoy myself? Or would the more experienced participants see right through me, and immediately spot the imposter, the fraud, the outsider?

 

I allowed myself a moment to enjoy a last swig of Heineken, a roadie taken more as an act of self-posturing than a real thirst for alcohol. But the cold brew did serve to drown out some of the butterflies flitting nervously in my stomach.

 

As we finally marched onto the oval to join the rest of the group, and I saw my first glimpse of those muscular, athletic, young men, I knew I was in the right place.

 

Welcome to schoolboy rugby folks, and the marquee match-up between St. Joseph’s College (Joeys) and Riverview!!!

(Editor’s note: get you mind out of the gutter people. This is a sports blog)

What stuck me first was the size of the crowd. Two grandstands at capacity and the standing area around the fence a least three deep. This was easily comparable to most Sydney NRL matches. Keep in mind the Seconds were still playing…with kick-off still 20 minutes away!

It wasn’t just the size of the crowd, but the quality of the noise it produced – loud and coordinated. It seemed that they had been studying tapes from ‘English Premier League’s Greatest Hits’, all the way down to belting out a wonderful rendition of ‘You’ll never walk alone’ and ‘Glory, glory’. With eyes closed and ears pricked you almost felt transported off to the hallowed grounds of Anfield or Old Trafford…almost.

Then there were the players. These ‘kids’ looked like pro’s, carrying themselves with a swagger that belied their teenage years. Indeed Riverview’s hulking number 5 looked like he’d been repeating the Higher School Certificate for the past few years in a desperate bid to remain in the fifteen.

Eagerly anticipating kick-off we spied a rowdy group of fifty twenty-something’s on the opposite end of the field, all resplendent in tuxedos. Was this some secret society, a Masonic initiation, or something more sinister, like the party scene in ‘Eyes Wide Shut’? None of the above sadly, just an enthusiastic group of Riverview lads celebrating their fifth reunion come to cheer on their alma mater. Earlier that morning we spotted them enjoying a breakfast of barley, wheat and hops at the Hunters Hill Hotel and by the sounds of it they continued on with that diet of sustenance throughout brunch and lunch.

The game itself was a cracker, albeit one-sided. The Riverview boys were too big and strong, the aforementioned number 5 making some wonderful runs, busting through tackles and carrying the ball forward like a young Ewen McKenzie. They easily controlled the ruck, dominating both field position and possession.

Unlike the tepid Wallabies display that same night, Riverview put on a show worthy of the game allegedly played in Heaven, going for tries, not kicking for goals. Running rugby with crisp passes out wide and clever off-loads into great hands was the order of the day. Each time Joeys turned the ball over defense swiftly turned into attack. Riverview quickly spread the ball out wide and the big winger (number 14) easily brushed off defenders as he speed down the touchline, doing his best Jonah Lomu impersonation.

In the end Riverview won deservedly, 45-20. Yet despite watching their faithful come up short the home crowd was phenomenal all the way through to the final whistle.

Our only disappointment was discovering, all too late, that alcohol was available for purchase. To quote Mr. Pussy: “Free entry and parking, a great crowd and beer. You’ve gotta love the Catholic education system!”

Despite the experience I can’t say hand on heart that I’m a rugby convert now. The All Blacks mauling of the Wallabies brought me crashing back to reality. But Joeys vs. Riverview will definitely be part of an annual pilgrimage now.