Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Fallout

The Decision has been made. The King has abdicated his throne in the Kingdom of Cleveland, Ohio to become a Prince in Miami, Florida.

After listening to The Decision live via the World Wide Web (which I thought was just a passing fad, but it looks like it’s caught on!!!), I’ve got 20 questions to ask all associated parties.

Here goes:

1. Will Dwyane Wade wear his championship ring to every practice to remind LeBron who the real alpha-dog is?
2. Has demand for psychotherapy in Cleveland increased exponentially over the past four hours?
3. Would Jordan, Magic, Bird, Zeke or Kobe ever have considered leaving the franchise they helped build to join forces with another superstar who plays a similar position in search for championship glory?
4. Speaking of similar positions, have a superstar 2 and 3 combo ever co-existed when both of them need the ball to drive to the basket and neither is a particularly great three point shooter?
5. How long before CB4 starts complaining about a lack of touches on the offensive end?
6. Is Kobe sitting at home right now plotting how he can:
a. not only equal Jordan with 6 titles, but;
b. also put LeBron and Wade in their place at the same time?
7. Are the Knicks the dumbest franchise in history after spending the past two years tanking to get LeBron, but only ended up with an improved version of David Lee (Amare Stoudamire) if he had a bad knee, chip on his shoulder and worse contract?
8. How many losses before Pat Riley decides he’s a better fit at head coach of the Heat?
9. Did Dan Gilbert have his Open Letter to Cavs fans drafted and ready to post online, or was this typed up after The Decision followed by a couple shots of Jack Daniels?
10. Is using Delonte West - a depressed drug-taking motorbike-riding-with-a-shotgun-and-two-hand-guns-while-drunk point guard - to sell season tickets a massive cry for help?
11. How many washed up veterans searching for a championship are going to be inspired to take massive pay cuts for the chance to play with the New Big Three in the South Beach sunshine?
12. Have alcohol sales in Ohio risen so much that they are now actively contributing to boosting the local economy?
13. Will putting The Answer in a Heat uniform create the most dysfunctional 1, 2 & 3 tandem in basketball history?
14. Did the following message really appear in a local Cleveland newspaper before The Decision? Mansion For Sale. Location – Akron. Owner relocating to sunnier climates. Never to return.
15. Has Cleveland officially taken over every cursed city/country in the sporting world to become the undisputed number one place where you just don’t want to be a sports fan?
16. What does it say about the standing of Dwyane Wade in the NBA that James pulled up stumps to join his team, as opposed to Wade leaving Miami?
17. Is new Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov currently using all of his shady ex-KGB contacts to plot the downfall of LeBron?
18. Will Donald Sterling ever take the hint that he’s the only thing holding the Clippers back?
19. Does he even care?
20. Were the Cabramatta Ethnic Cleansers ever in the mix?

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