I've been meaning to write an open letter to Sir Alex Ferguson ever since the appalling performance during the Manchester derby that basically ruined 2012. To be perfectly honest, when I was previewing United's chances before the season began, I felt a sense of impending doom. I thought that without serious investment the premiership would be beyond us. City and Chelsea were my pick for top two, with United grouped together with Arsenal and Tottenham for the remaining Champions League positions. Who could have predicted Newcastle's stunning rise. Liverpool's demise was much easier to pick.
When I consider that United have toiled for the bulk of the season without Vidic, Fletcher, Cleverly and Anderson, and have had to draft in a retired asthmatic to inspire our performances, it's a minor miracle that on the last day of the season we're on equal points with the leaders. That being the case, I still cannot forgive Fergie for throwing away the derby by starting Scholes, Giggs, Carrick and Park together in midfield. Watching Park take his place in the starting line-up was reminiscent of seeing Savo Milosevic in the first eleven for Serbia in the opening game of the 2006 World Cup against the Netherlands...I just knew it would lead to a pathetic, painful defeat.
NEWSFLASH: Pastor Maldenado just won the Spanish F1 GP for Williams, their first win since 2004. Amazingly yet another first time victor this season, and the fifth race featuring a different winner. Classic season in F1. Loving it!
Where was I...oh yeah...Park. F#cken Park. What the f#ck Fergie??? Park hasn't made a meaningful contribution all season. Thinking about that again just makes me physically sick. I want to grab for the bluntest object within my reach and ram in into my eye socket.
To be realistic though, that performance didn't lose us the championship. Drawing with Everton when leading 4-2 after 80 minutes didn't help. I doubt we'd have such a defensive brainfart if Vidic was on the field. The loss to Wigan was atrocious. The back to back defeats against Blackburn and Newcastle at the turn of the New Year, unforgivable. Just one point from those two games and I wouldn't even bother staying up to watch the game tonight. I'd go to bed safe in the knowledge that we'd get a nervy win against Sunderland and be crowned the Best in Britain yet again.
Instead I'm sitting in front of the heater, watching a live stream from most likely an illegal source, knowing with every fiber of my being that Man City will demolish QPR, yet still holding onto the faintest glimmer of completely delusional hope that Sparky Hughes can score another cracker for the red half of Manchester and deliver the unlikeliest finish in EPL history. Just a pathetic sight to tell you the truth. I know my better half agrees wholeheartedly with that sentiment.
Rather than continue with my anti-Fergie rant, where I question his sanity, balls, capacity to continue has manager and his views on just about everything, I'm going to sit here and take it like a man. I'll report live whenever something of interest happens at either the Etihad Stadium or the Stadium of Light, and pass on my hearty congratulations to City, worthy winners of the 2011/12 English Premier League, in about 90 minutes time.
UPDATE: No news from either Manchester game, but a flurry of activity from the rest of the league. A total of nine goals in the first 16 minutes. As it stands, Spurs jump to third, Newcastle miss out and Bolton get relegated.
NEWSFLASH: Rooney!!! Man U 1 - Sunderland 0. Dare to dream???
SIDE NOTE: I'm ten points up in my EPL Fantasy Football League, and I've got two goals in the bag already with Rooney and Holt scoring. If Van Persie gets on the scoresheet I'm definitely fantasy champion!!!
FLASH: Rooney hits the crossbar from a free kick. John Terry scores for Chelsea (he's in my fantasy team...even if he is a c#nt)
NEWSFLASH: Zabaleta scores for City. The dream dies. Should I just pack it in and go to bed??? Or man up?
As we head into half time City are still ahead on goal difference. United could have easily scored four goals in the first half, with Rooney hitting the bar, missing a sitter and Giggs drawing a great save from the keeper. If we converted that would have made things interesting.
NEWSFLASH: Just before halftime Bolton score and take the lead. QPR have to get a result now. Come on Sparky!
NEWSFLASH: Start of second half and QPR equalise. OMG!
NEWSFLASH: Shit. Barton sent off. QPR down to ten men and my battery waning