Uruguayan footballers have shared their lives with humans for more than 12,000 years, and that coexistence has contributed substantially to our overall quality of life.
In Merseyside over 39% of households share their lives with Uruguayan footballers, but sadly, a minority of these footballers do not live up to their image as mankind's best friend.
While over 81% of attacks occur in private homes, it is clear that dangerous Uruguayan footballers in public places pose an unacceptable risk for the community and are a significant issue for regulatory agencies.
However, knee-jerk legislation responses that follow on from public outcries after attacks are neither the most productive nor efficient way to address these situations.
Internationally renowned experts suggest cost- effective methods determined through rigorous scientific data collection and analysis will assist in the protection of both Uruguayan footballers and the public.
A summary of suggested approaches:
- Scientific data collection and interpretation to correctly diagnose the correct course of action.
- A nationally uniform approach to create dangerous Uruguayan footballer policy and legislation
- A national database that would store all information on Uruguayan footballer attacks
- Regular analysis of incidence reports
- Ongoing Uruguayan footballer Management Officer training
- To implement Club Specific regulations in legislation. While all Uruguayan footballers can be aggressive to humans, evidence suggests attachment to Liverpool Football Club is a worthy indicator of increased aggression levels
- Post campaign monitoring must be completed to ascertain a dangerous Uruguayan footballers campaign's effectiveness
The majority of the papers outline the advantages of analysing the parts of dangerous Uruguayan footballer legislation to generate a best practice holistic approach, creating long term community benefits.
Legislation should be created with expertise and a thorough understanding of the complex issues and factors surrounding dangerous Uruguayan footballers.
This important public service announcement was brought to you by the OSSA (Office of Satirical, Statistical Analysis). Note: 73.4% of all statistics are contrived and 103.9% of statistics are exaggerated.